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The campaign took on a lighter tone Thursday night as both candidates delivered hysterical, self-deprecating speeches. Here's the meat of Obama's routine. John McCain, FOX News, Rudy Giuliani and Sarah Palin: You are officially on notice.
"People tell me I share the politics of Alfred E. Smith and the ears of Alfred E. Neuman."
"But I have to say tonight's venue is not what I'm really used to. I was originally told that we would able to move this outdoors to Yankee Stadium. Can someone tell me what happened to the Greek columns I requested?"
"I must say I love the Waldorf Astoria. You know I hear from the doorstep, you can see the Russian Tea Room."
"It's an honor to be here with Al Smith. I obviously never knew your great grandfather, but from everything Sen. McCain has told me...the two of them had a great time together before prohibition. Wonderful stories."
"Now, recently one of John's top advisers told The Daily News that if we keep talking about the economy, McCain's gonna lose. So tonight I'd like to talk about the economy."
"While the collapse of the housing market's been tough on every single homeowner, I think we all need to recognize this crisis has been eight times harder on John McCain."
"Contrary to the rumors you've heard, I was not born in a manger. I was actually born on Krypton, sent here by my father Jor-El, to save the planet Earth."
"Many of you know I got my name, Barack, from my father. What you may not know is Barack is actually Swahali for 'That One.' And I got my middle name from somebody who obviously didn't think I'd ever run for President."
"I have never put lipstick on a pig. Or a pitbull. Or myself. Rudy Giuliani: That's one for you. I mean, who would have thought that a cross-dressing mayor from New York City would have a tough time running for the Republican nomination. It's shocking. That was a tough primary you had there, John."
"But I know Senator McCain agrees that some of the rumors are getting a bit crazy. I mean, Rupert the other, Fox News actually accused me of fathering two African-American children in wedlock."
Awesome.
