As I write, the only thing lacking is official confirmation by the Romney campaign that Mittens will adopt young Paul Ryan as his running mate. It would appear as though Mittens' disaster-laden campaign of the past few weeks has prompted his billionaires to lay down the law and require Ryan as the Very Serious Running Mate.

Ah, yes. Paul Ryan, "zombie-eyed granny starver" extraordinaire. The guy who loved Ayn Rand until he didn't.

Here's a nice video of Paul Ryan. I'll bet it would make a great commercial, this lovefest with Glenn Beck.

Paul Ryan is a disaster, but that doesn't mean the Villagers won't treat him as a Very Serious VP Candidate Who Will Give Mittens A Much-Needed Bump. They will treat him that way. Meanwhile, the Very Serious conservatives will rejoice and forget Mitt is their candidate, substituting Paul Ryan in their minds for the first name on the ballot, and the Kochs will open their wallets wider for Their Black-Haired Boy. See, for example, the fawning by Chuck Todd and David Gregory over Ryan As Visionary.

I suppose that's enough bashing for one post. (Can Ryan ever be bashed enough?) Let's review some of the facts on Paul Ryan and whether he's a good fit with Mitt:

• He wants to raise taxes on ordinary people so billionaires and millionaires can get a break. Check.
• He wants to give Granny and Grampy a little voucher instead of the Medicare they've come to know and love. Check.
• Repeal Obamacare! Because...Romneycare. Check.
• He was once a beneficiary of the social safety net he seeks to destroy. Hypocrisy. Check.
• He speaks spreadsheet. Check.

Also? President Obama turns him into a whining, sniveling wimp.

I have a theory about why Ryan is the Boy Wonder, and no, it's not the one that says Mitt is really Herman Munster and Ryan is his sixth son, Eddie. I think Mitt's billionaires were tired of his very terrible, awful campaign and decided they'd better get the base fired up before they gave up entirely. And so word was passed to Mitt: It's Ryan or we're done with you.

After that, all that was left was tapping Tagg to fire TPaw and Rob Portman. Mitt seems to be quite good at delegating tasks, even firing people.

Over on the left, there is much rejoicing about Mitt's the billionaires' choice for the veep slot, and for good reason. After all, for eighteen months we've been trying to get the general electorate to see the do-nothing Congress in all its glory, from the debt ceiling debacle to the Ryan budget monstrosity to the zillionth meaningless vote to climb into women's reproductive systems. Now it will be on display for all to see, naked, fat and ugly.

A few other random thoughts. Does anyone giggle at the thought that Bill Kristol picked Sarah Palin and Paul Ryan? How will Newt Gingrich cover his tracks? Has anyone asked Paul Ryan about Ponzi schemes, particularly those he benefits from?

Who does Eddie Munster's hair? Quick, hire them for Pretty Paul's campaign appearances.