FAFO: Paper Straw Edition
March 9, 2025

Boss Straw, the paper straw company, looks like it is going to go extinct, unlike the plastic straw. The owner, Guy Spinelli, voted for Trump three times. But, his support was misguided because the 75 year old, who put his entire life savings into the paper straw business, is in trouble after the White House put this Executive Order out that bans paper straws.

The order lays out 2 steps that the government will take:

  • The Federal government is directed to stop purchasing paper straws and ensure they are no longer provided within Federal buildings.
  • The Order requires the development of a National Strategy to End the Use of Paper Straws within 45 days to alleviate the forced use of paper straws nationwide.

Oopsie.

Almost instantly orders stopped coming in. Instead of his expect $800k sales, he will be lucky to sell 80k this year.

He told the Philadelphia Inquirer that their “distributors are saying, ‘Everyone’s going back to plastic now because of the president. The president I voted for, the man who says ‘Let’s make America great again, let’s help small businesses grow,’ that man is going to put me out of business.”

Now to be clear, the EO does not ban ALL paper straws, Rather, it asks for a strategy to end their use and sends a "much larger message to Americans that paper straws are ineffective and unnecessary."

During the EO signing, Trump actually said, on LIVE TV, that "these things don’t work. I’ve had them many times, and on occasion, they break, they explode. If something’s hot they don’t last very long — like a matter of minutes, sometimes a matter of seconds. It’s a ridiculous situation, so we’re going back to plastic straws.”

Spinelli did create his company with the best of intentions. He clearly was looking to create a more environmentally responsible product. He reports that he spent years "ensuring his products could hold their own in any drink, hot or cold, while being compostable and complying with the Food and Drug Administration’s standards. He found a way to make them affordable, too, selling them for less than 2 cents apiece."

FAFO. You know who would not have banned paper straws? The overqualified Black lady.

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