The elderly felon, fraudster and sexual predator known as Donald Trump seems to have had a change of heart after he tried to bully Vice President Kamala Harris into debating him on Fox News instead of the previously-agreed-upon debate on ABC.

Yep, that’s the same Kamala Harris who is now surging against him in the polls whom he called “so bad” and “incompetent” that she is only the presumptive nominee because Democrats figured, “look, the press is gonna do whatever we want.” On Fox & Friends, Trump pretended he’s so tough he’ll destroy Harris in a debate and overcome the horrible media bias against him at the same time.

TRUMP: [T]he press is a rigged deal. The press is the media, outside of you people, of course, but the media is so - they're trying to build her up to the next Margaret Thatcher, liberal version. And I don't believe it's gonna happen. I hear she hasn't taken one interview. She would never do an interview like this. That I can get with any network.

She doesn't do interviews, because she can't answer questions.

Harris has only been the likely candidate for about two and a half weeks. With such a short time before the election, she has had a lot on her plate what with staffing up her campaign, choosing a running mate and – oh, yeah, doing her day job with work such as helping to get Americans freed from Russia. It was an accomplishment Trump said would not happen unless he were in the White House.

But p***y grabber Trump just can’t help himself when it comes to dealing with a woman of color. “I hear she’s sort of a nasty person, but not a good debater,” he continued. But we’ll see, because we'll be debating her, I guess, in the pretty near future. It's gonna be announced fairly soon, but we'll be debating her.”

Trump added that his preference would be to debate on Fox, “but we have to debate.”

An excited Peter Doocy asked if a Fox debate is being worked out behind the scenes. Trump said no. Then he digressed to his favorite topic: self-fluffing: “I can tell you every network loves me very much right now,” he crowed. “I’ve never been so loved by CBS and by ABC fake news. And by NBC and by NBC. No, they're all in love with me now, so that I say yes, because it's up to me, obviously, also.”

Brian Kilmeade steered Trump back to the topic of a debate. Yet Trump couldn’t stop talking about President Joe Biden. Dementia, wistfulness or both? I report, you decide.

TRUMP: The most important thing is we get to debate. I think debates are very important, and I think she'll be exposed, just like Biden was exposed. Nobody knew Biden was that bad, and then he was exposed during the debate, and they tried to have a series of comebacks after that, and they didn't work out too well, and they viciously overthrew him. I mean, he was overthrown in it. Using every trick in the book, they overthrew him. It was pretty amazing, actually, to watch.

Kilmeade used Trump’s original excuse for backing out of the ABC debate, that he can’t do the already-scheduled ABC debate because of Trump’s bogus lawsuit, which Kilmeade described as “litigation with George Stephanopoulos.”

But now, Trump is OK with ABC because Stephanopoulos won’t be involved in a debate there. In reality, Trump is probably changing his tune because Harris has called his bluff on the original debate plans and said she’ll go on ABC and have the time all to herself if Trump doesn’t show up.

Trump attacked Harris of waffling on the debate, blabbed some more about having “accepted everything” on a debate with Biden and concluded by saying he’ll accept everything now “because I want to debate her.”

Trump’s whole “I’m going into the ‘rigged’ lion’s den” schtick is the same baloney he coughed up during his New York fraud trial and his criminal voter deception trial. You may recall he never testified in the criminal and was convicted of 34 felonies. He never testified in the fraud trial either and received a verdict of $464 million against him.

Bottom line: Felon Trump knows he’s in deep doo-doo whether he faces the vigorous, former prosecutor Harris on a debate stage or if he looks like a coward for chickening out. Good.

UPDATE: (Karoli) ABC has confirmed that they will debate on September 10th. Apparently Lumpy couldn't bend VP Harris to his will.

UPDATE 2: Trump agreed to an imaginary debate on Fox News on September 4, another on Sept 10 on NBC that is real but is on ABC, and another imaginary one on September 25, god knows where.

UPDATE 3: From an adult: