Donald Trump is so full of shit that we're going to need to attach a toilet flush on his jaw. Trump was relentlessly booed and heckled at the Libertarian Convention Saturday evening. But to hear his sycophants say it, their Trumpy bear was a smashing success, and the thunderous applause could be heard from eleventy bazillion miles away. Up is down; down is up in Trump World.

Trump begged the Libertarians to "nominate me or at least vote for me," but that's not going to happen. The party's chair ruled the former president ineligible because he failed to submit the proper paperwork. To hear Trump say it, he did that on purpose. There was a great deal of "enthusiasm" for Trump at the convention, in which he was mercifully booed nonstop.

"The reason I didn't file paperwork for the Libertarian Nomination, which I would have absolutely gotten if I wanted it (as everyone could tell by the enthusiasm of the Crowd last night!), was the fact that, as the Republican Nominee, I am not allowed to have the Nomination of another Party," he insisted. "Regardless, I believe I will get a Majority of the Libertarian Votes."

"Junior' Kennedy is a Radical Left Democrat, who's destroyed everything he's touched, especially in New York and New England, and in particular, as it relates to the Cost and Practicality of Energy," he added. "He's not a Libertarian. Only a FOOL would vote for him!"

Trump isn't a libertarian, either. Libertarians are soulless creatures, but they are pro-choice. As for why Lumpy didn't file for the paperwork to get the Libertarian nomination, who knows? The guy lies and gaslights 24/7. I'd look into it, but in the end, who gives a fuck. And it was predictable that Bloaty McBatshit would try to paint the picture of an adoring crowd.

Trump is only in this race to avoid the ignominy of being imprisoned. That's it. He offers nothing.

This is a good question: