2023 Crookie Of The Year Goes To Elon Musk, That Stupid F*ck

By Conover Kennard — December 25, 2023

It's that time of the year again when we award the best people of 2023 with a Good Guy Crookie Award and the shittiest people with a Baddie Award. And one of the shittiest, most narcissistic dickwads that I can think of is Elon Musk. Now, we've all heard about Musk because he's the richest guy in the world. Well, someone had to be. He's a billionaire, but he's no Taylor Swift.

He's the opposite of Taylor Swift. Sure, successful individuals are highly criticized, so that's to be expected, but what kind of a bellend billionaire decides to be some sort of Edgelord for the far-right because his self-worth is so minimal that he is almost damaged beyond repair. So, he decided to play footsie with white nationalists to make him feel better about himself? I'm not a psychiatrist, but from reading about Elon, he might have daddy issues. There are definitely some issues.

For whatever reason, he fired personnel that used to keep Twitter safe, now called X. It was hardly safe before, so holy shit, how did he screw that up? I was doxxed and mass-reported by white supremacists, so I was banned, and that's OK. I'm OK with that. Then Musk bought it and made it even less safe. Jesus. The KKK came to my home several times late at night to intimidate me (LOL) -- how do you make it less safe than that? Well, the site is dripping with racism, homophobia, and fake news, even more so than before, and there is nothing to fight against that except for "community notes," which can take as long as two weeks to add to a post to correct it.

The Twitter files. Lol.

The "bombshell" Twitter Files died an incredible death. He failed to prove that the government was censoring conservatives. There was no government demand to remove content. All of that for attention? How damaged is that guy? Wow. Narcissists love destroying things they think they love. Censorship didn't ruin Twitter. Musk did.

And Musk let dangerous people back on the platform. Roger Stone, for example, goes around calling women cunts while circulating fake news about the 2020 election with impunity. More recently, conspiracy theorist Alex Jones was allowed back on X near the anniversary of the Sandy Hook massacre. That's just sick stuff right there. Fucking hell.

And since I'm too dangerous to have an X account, I'll add that to my tombstone one day, "Fear me, bitches! I'm 65, but I'm super scary!"

Musk claimed to be a free speech absolutist, but then he banned certain journalists that hurt his feelings. The list of how the handling of X has been completely bungled since he acquired it is massive. Am any of us smarter than Elon Musk? Who knows, but we wouldn't fire the workers needed to keep the users safe. None of us would. The users are the people that keep him in business. I think he's missing that part, so I mentioned it.

All billionaires are not smart

Musk finalized his purchase of Twitter on October 27, 2022, for $44 billion and, soon after that, proceeded to fire a fuckton of people. This recent Rolling Stone headline speaks volumes: 'Twitter Fires Election Integrity Team Ahead of 2024 Elections.'

Or this one by NPR, 'Musk's Twitter has dissolved its Trust and Safety Council'

X is reportedly worth 1/3rd of what he paid for it.

Sigh. That stupid fuck.

Grimes was smart to get out of that relationship. Be free.