I like to be fair. So I've been thinking about Mitch McConnell's demand that House Democrats stop blocking the bill that offers extra-special super duper protection for Supreme Court justices, but I have to tell you, I'm just not feeling it.

Under other circumstances, he could theoretically appeal to our human decency. But come on, this is Moscow Mitch!

I'm weighing his demands against the 19 corpses from the latest NRA spectacular (including, yes, decapitated children) and I concluded that it's fine with me if this bill is delayed -- until, say, a ban on assault weapons passes through the Senate.

Then there's the value proposition. The majority of sitting justices (and we all know which ones) are outright shills for Big Business, authoritarianism, and right wing culture. After all, they were placed on the court for that specific reason.

If they were actually competent judges who made rulings on the basis of the law and precedent, this might be a different story. But most of them don't.

As I recall, Christine Blasey Ford had to move several times because of the death threats following her testimony against Brett "I Like Beer" Kavanaugh and needs full-time security. She's paying for it herself, with the help of contributors.

So here's a thought, Mitch. There are hundreds of thousand people using GoFundMe to pick up the pieces of their lives after gun violence and other avoidable disasters -- for which you routinely block the bills that could have averted them.

It's easy to set up, and I'm sure if you hit up the Federalist Society mailing list, they'd be happy to contribute.

And just to keep things fair, Democrats should start a similar fund for liberal justices. (It probably won't cost as much to keep them safe, because they tend to make rulings that are in line with what the rest of the country wants.)

And in the meantime, I'd advise Brett Kavanaugh to stay away from windows and get a bulletproof backpack. Thoughts and prayers!