On his book tour, Chris Christie wants to make a few things clear. He had nothing to do with Bridgegate, and Trump never dumped him -- he dumped Trump. (Oh, sure.) But I'll give him credit for this gem in his book:

He asked how I was doing. I told him, okay, considering. “You know what happened to you, don’t you, Chris?” he said.

I told him I didn’t.

“God wanted you to play right field, and you insisted on playing shortstop. No matter how many times God told you to play right field, you insisted on playing shortstop. And last night, you went out to shortstop, and the ball went through your legs.”

Right there, I understood why so many people in politics despised John Kasich. . . .

“And John,” I asked, “what does God have in mind for you?”

He didn’t hesitate. “I think you’re going to see that very clearly over the next couple of months.”

Right there, I learned why so many people in politics despised John Kasich.

Yeah, John Kasich is a pious dick. We knew that, but I for one never tire of hearing it.

Chris Christie simulates sincerity with the best. I'll give you a little hint I picked up from years of covering Christie: He has a tell when he's lying. He opens his eyes wide and doesn't blink. Once you start watching, you will notice that he lies -- a lot.

I guess he figured it was safe to rise from the political dead, now that Trump is almost universally disdained.