Anderson Cooper asked Rick Santorum about the campaign finance charges against Michael Cohen -- and Individual 1.

"So I think they're two different things. I don't know all the facts of the AIM, I don't think we know that yet," Little Ricky said. "But to me, the most damaging thing is the fact the president isn't coming -- hasn't come clean over the course of time."

Toobin started to steam.

"Anderson, Anderson, putting aside the whole issue of how amazing it is to listen to Rick Santorum, who made his entire career successful for a time on the basis of morality in politics, making excuses for paying off porn stars and women with whom you've had affairs, putting that to one side, isn't the reason --..."

"Jeffrey, you're not going to put that to the side. I'm not making excuses for Donald Trump having affair with a porn star. I mean, that's disgusting," Little Ricky insisted.

"It's... it's tawdry. I'm addressing the question as to what is the illegality involved here. The illegality is not the contribution, the illegality is not reporting it. I'm not condoning it, and don't suggest that I am." (Huh. It sure sounded like you were.)

"You say his problem is he keeps lying and his explanations about it," Toobin said. "Isn't the reason he's lying because he did something bad in the first place? if he did nothing wrong, why doesn't he tell a straightforward version of the truth?"

"Well, he did something wrong in having an affair with a porn star, I agree," Little Ricky said. (Peace at last!)

But while we're on the subject, guys, Trump didn't have an "affair" with a porn star. He had ten minutes and a spanking. And she's not just a porn actress anymore, she's primarily a director.

The question is, why is that so much worse than having an affair with anyone?

Food for thought, Morality Police.