I'm not sure if perpetual GOP presidential candidate Mitt Romney could have been any stiffer for his appearance on David Letterman's show this Monday night had he tried, but hey... you never know. Here he is with the night's Top Ten list of "Things Mitt Romney Would Like to Say to the American People."
No. 10 – "Isn't it time for a president who looks like a 1970s game show host?"
No. 9 – "What's up, gangstas? It's the M-I-Double Tizzle."
No. 8 – "I have no proof, but I have a feeling Canada is planning something."
No. 7 – "Actually, I'm only here to meet Tom Cruise."
No. 6 – "Live from New York, it's Saturday night!"
No. 5 – "My new cologne is now available at Macy's. It's Mittstified."
No. 4 – "I just used all my campaign money to buy a zoo with Matt Damon."
No. 3 – "I can do a lot, but even I can't fix the Indianapolis Colts."
No. 2 – "Newt Gingrich? Really?"
No. 1 – "It's a hair piece."
