Stephen Colbert skewered the likes of Michele Bachmann and her ilk for supporting Ted Cruz, who told them all "not to blink" on their hostage taking and decision to shut down the government, but not before letting the media have it for minimizing the harm it's going to do to the most vulnerable among us.
Colbert opened the segment by "assuring" his viewers that we're going to get through this latest government shutdown and just like the talking heads on Fox, let them know that it's going to be "no more damaging to the economy than a pinprick."
COLBERT: Yes, a government shutdown is no more damaging to the economy than a pin prick, okay? For instance, here's the economy (hold up balloon marked economy), here's the shutdown (pops balloon with pin). See? The economy still exists. In fact folks, this shutdown is so not big a deal, we're not even calling it a shutdown any more.
Cue the talking heads on CNN, parroting Fox by calling the shutdown a "slimdown."
COLBERT: That's CNN, the most trusted name in reading other networks' web sites. And she's right, Fox News is calling it a slimdown. Which is a great name, because you know who's really going to slim down? The nine million women and children who will lose supplemental nutrition from the government.
I mean, that's just chivalrous. Remember, women and children first. The point is, the slimdown is a good thing. And it's all Obama's fault! [...]
Yes, why isn't the President telling Congress that shutting down the government is bad? And why won't he tell them the stove is hot? Boehner keeps burning his hand over and over again.
After proclaiming that President Obama finally did the right thing by calling Boehner and McConnell to the White House to discuss all of this, Colbert did his best to mock the "both sides" pundits so many of us are sick of these days.
COLBERT: Okay great. Now, both sides can work out a compromise. Obama can give some concessions and the Republicans can accept his concessions. Two way street. As long, as this is important, as long as the Republicans don't blink. [...]
That's right, not blinking. In fact, Michele Bachmann has been training her entire life for this.
Sadly, it seems you can say the same for the rest of her fellow anarchists in the House. And as long as their enablers in the media allow them to pretend what they're doing is business as usual, we're in a very dangerous place right now on a number of fronts, the most immediate being our economy.
