Look. Let's talk. I'm worried about your marriage.
It's a mess. As an institution, it's a muddled mess, and you're screwing it up just terribly.
Luckily, there's hope! There's someone out there who's willing to save this august tradition from weirdos and pervs who would make it all strange and unholy. To the rescue!
Remember: don't trust your marriage with just any old pol. A lot of these dudes don't have much experience-seriously, I hear some of them have only done this stuff once.