J.D. Vance spoke in Nevada Tuesday at a rally, and as usual, it was a low-energy, awkward, completely unaware speech. For some reason, he mentioned his wife, Usha, and said that if he calls her up to the stage, she'll probably make him sleep on the couch. Typically, for a normal person, that remark wouldn't be relevant, but he's amid couch-gate after being accused of having intimate relations with living room furniture.

The claims are unfounded (wink wink), but as John Oliver said, Vance gives off major couch-fucker vibes.

"Now, I would call her up here to come and speak, but then I think I'd have to sleep on the couch tonight, so I'll leave her alone," he told the crowd.

The internet piled in:

I'll leave you with this:

Friendly reminder: Creepy J.D. Vance has never denied having sexy-time with his couch.