May 22, 2024

There's a whole new faux outrage going on from the right. What are they mad at now? I'm glad you asked. It all started with a Truth Social post from Lumpy claiming that "Joe Biden's DOJ" authorized the FBI to use deadly force during the raid at Mar-a-Lago.

"WOW! I just came out of the Biden Witch Hunt Trial in Manhattan, the "Icebox," and was shown Reports that Crooked Joe Biden's DOJ, in their Illegal and UnConstitutional Raid of Mar-a-Lago, AUTHORIZED THE FBI TO USE DEADLY (LETHAL) FORCE," Captain Caps Lock wrote. "NOW WE KNOW, FOR SURE, THAT JOE BIDEN IS A SERIOUS THREAT TO DEMOCRACY. HE IS MENTALLY UNFIT TO HOLD OFFICE — 25TH AMENDMENT!"

Calm your tits, Mr. Man. That's standard procedure.

"The FBI followed standard protocol in this search as we do for all search warrants, which includes a standard policy statement limiting the use of deadly force," the FBI said in a statement. "No one ordered additional steps to be taken, and there was no departure from the norm in this matter."

Still, Trump supporters are freaking the fuck out.

But wait, I thought Trumpers were OK with a president killing his opponent.

We really are stuck in the dumbest timeline. I've had my home raided before. It was in London. Still, the police were not fucking around. I was all, "Yes, sir. Whatever you say, sir." And then, the charges were dropped when they discovered that the white powder was Vitamin C and not an illegal drug. It's a long story, but I didn't cry about it. Trump is the whiniest bitch in politics.

And watch your back, Lumpy. You never know when Merrick will sneak up to go all Second Amendment on you. He's so scary-looking! Jinkies, I wonder what Trump is deflecting from this time?

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