Donald Trump was doing his typical accordion hands as if he were in marketing, trying to sell something. Well, he is trying to sell something, but it smells like bullshit. I was going to say that it smells like his farts, but that wouldn't be very classy of me. It appears that Donald's Pecker has a lot to say on the stand right now because Trump looks nervous. Trump is on break during his hush money payments trial, and it's almost as if the former President is confessing to reporters. Ssh! Don't interrupt him. Let him talk.

"It was just in the last minute they decided to do it," Trump said. "It's a case that, if you're looking back, it goes back many, many years — 2015, maybe before that."

"And it's a case as to bookkeeping, which is a very minor thing in terms of the law, in terms of all the violent crime that's going on outside as we — as we speak, right outside as we speak," Trump confessed. "This is a case where you pay a lawyer — he's a lawyer — and they call it a legal expense. That's the exact term they used — legal expense — in the books."

"And another thing that wasn't even said was, we never even deducted it as a tax deduction," he continued. "So that takes a whole of — most people want to deduct everything. We never even took it as a tax deduction."

"But they called a payment to a lawyer a legal expense in the books," he said. "They didn't call it construction. They didn't say, you're building a building. It called a payment to a lawyer."

"Because, as you know, Cohen is a lawyer," he added. "Represented a lot of people over the years. Now, I'm not the only one. And wasn't very good, in a lot of ways, in terms of his representation. But he represented a lot of people."

He's trying to blame Cohen again, isn't he? And the buffoon wants a cookie for not deducting his hush money payment to an adult film actress just after his wife gave birth to their baby? And all of that to interfere with the 2016 election. Here, I'll get you a fucking cookie, Donald, you stupid (enter C-word here).