Donald Trump's lawyers are not the best money can buy, not by far. And this is not news - I mean, look at Alina Habba. Rudy Giuliani. Jeff Clark. Jenna Ellis.
The list of incompetence is long.
But this week his moderately ok lawyers did something that may, if we are lucky, end up as an SNL clip.
They subpoenaed the WRONG person. Now, sure, his name is common in New York City. Jeremy Rosenberg. The White Pages says there are currently 18 Jeremy Rosenbergs in New York, NY. They had a 1 in 18 chance of getting it right. And they failed.
Having worked in the legal field myself, I can only assume that a low level paralegal or maybe a legal secretary googled Jeremy Rosenberg and just used that address for the subpoena. Unfortunately for them, it was the wrong one. The one they were looking for had served as a supervising investigator in the Manhattan DA's office.
Instead the subpoena went to another Jeremy Rosenberg, one who lives in an $8 million Brooklyn home. He wrote back to defense attorney Todd Blanche the following succinct message: "I don't have any files for you." He added "I'm keeping the fifteen dollars" sent to him to cover the cost or sending in the requested documents.
Touché.
Trump's legal team complained that Rosenberg was not being cooperative, which led prosecutors to inform the court that they had, in fact, not subpoenaed the correct Jeremy Rosenberg. YOU CANNOT MAKE THIS UP.
Prosecutors wrote to the court:
"After receiving defendant's pre-motion letter, the People spoke with Mr. Rosenberg's counsel, who informed the People that Mr. Rosenberg was not, in fact, served with the subpoena, that Mr. Rosenberg had not corresponded with defense counsel, and that Mr. Rosenberg does not have any connection to the Brooklyn address where the subpoena purportedly was served."
This is going to be one of the funniest scenes in the definitely forthcoming made-for-tv movie about this case.
