April 18, 2023

The Daily Show's Jordan Klepper tries hard to save Sparkles the pony, owned by wacky Kristi Noem's two-year-old granddaughter, from the wacky gun-loving cult of the NRA. Via Rolling Stone:

Klepper highlighted the event speakers, from Donald Trump — who attempted to link gun violence to “genetically engineered cannabis” — to South Dakota Gov. Kristi Noem, who boasted that her nearly two-year-old grandaughter already owns two guns. “She already has a shotgun, and she already has a rifle,” said Noem. “And she’s got a little pony named Sparkles, too. So the girl is set up.”

“When my kid was little, I was covering outlets, locking cabinets and cutting grapes in half because they might be a choking hazard,” said Klepper. “Kristi Noem is like, ‘Here’s a shotgun. You’re on watch tonight. Sic semper tyrannis!

The governor then launched into a bizarre story recounting how she went hunting with her father in the Bighorn Mountains of Wyoming when she was about nine or 10. After her father instructed Noem to “hunt” her way back to camp and seemingly abandoned her in the forest, the governor “had to rely on my instincts and my horse to find my way back to our tent.” Noem then assured her audience that her father had secretly been following her the whole time, “scratching trees and growling” like a bear.

“What an adorable story about alcoholism,” Klepper quipped, before turning to the camera to address the hapless pony. “Seriously, Sparkles, this family is fucking nuts! Get out of there! Trust no one! Sic semper tyrannis!”

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