According to Semafor News, a "bipartisan" group led by Sens. Angus King and Bill Cassidy is looking at raising the retirement age to about 70 as part of their legislation to overhaul Social Security. Let's talk about why that's utter bullshit.

First of all, Semafor, Angus King is NOT a Democrat. He caucuses with Democrats, but so does Kyrsten Sinema. And to imply that there's an actual Democratic senator in 2023 who would entertain such class-war nonsense is particularly misleading.

Democrats have been pretty firm on the idea that solving long-term funding issues for Social Security will not include conservatives' "split the baby in two" orthodoxy, but will include raising taxes on the wealthiest. And the president stands behind that.

Senators (most of whom are millionaires, have their own quality mini-hospital at their workplace, and get a helluva lot more time off to play golf than the rest of America) have this idea that somehow, 70 is a reasonable retirement age. Well, sure -- if you're a coddled millionaire! For those of us who have somehow survived without senatorial advantages, we barely make it across the finish line to retirement age without some kind of serious health problem. Seventy-five percent of recipients retire at 62 -- they must have a good reason.

So f*ck those millionaires. (Angus King's estimated net worth was $9,494,061 in 2018. Bill Cassidy's was "only" $1,115,971 in 2018.)

This funding "plan" of course centers around a classic Wall Street wet dream. Who profits? Wall Street, of course! Bankers have always wanted to get their hands on Social Security funds -- despite the major financial crash that occurred in 2008. Remember that? Oh sure, investing our retirement money in the stock market instead of Treasury bonds is a wise and prudent use of public funds.

The plan also includes a proposed sovereign wealth fund (as previously reported by Semafor) that could be seeded with $1.5 trillion or more in borrowed money to jumpstart stock investments, the people said. If it fails to generate an 8% return, both the maximum taxable income and the payroll tax rate would be increased to ensure Social Security stays on track to be solvent another 75 years.

“This is an example of two leaders trying to find a solution to a clear and foreseeable danger,” Cassidy and King spokespeople told Semafor in a statement. “Although the final framework is still taking shape, there are no cuts for Americans currently receiving Social Security benefits in our plan. Indeed, many will receive additional benefits.”

In other words, buy off the current recipients in the hope that we don't care about our children and grandchildren. Piss off, senators.