Reporter Swarmed By Fake Police At Arizona Fake Audit

CNN's Kyung Lah was initially allowed into parking lot for this phony audit, but was met by phony police telling her she was "trespassing."
By Aliza Worthington — April 30, 2021

CNN knows how to set up a story.

First, reporter Kyung Lah showed an actual carnival on the Arizona State Fairgrounds, complete with rides, games, clowns, and flashing lights. The name? "Crazy Times Carnival." No joke.

On the other side of the literal fence? Trump supporters holding an alleged "audit" of Arizona's largest county's votes from the 2020 election. That's where the real clowns are, and guaranteed, games, too.

Lah tries to interview outwardly partisan vote-counters entering the parking lot, and is rebuffed multiple times by mistrustful OAN fans. When she tries to enter herself, the security guard allows it, directing her to the parking lot section for media, but as soon as she parks, a bunch of wanna-be cowboys with dime-store sheriff's badges swarm her. These moops are the "Arizona Rangers," who are a pretend-police private security group hired by Cyber Ninjas.

"That's the Florida-based company being paid $150,000 by the GOP-controlled state senate to conduct this election review," explains Lah. Cyber Ninjas. Got that? There's a name that inspires confidence, no? Nothing screams "INTEGRITY!" and "TRUST US!" like the Japanese term for someone specially trained for espionage and assassinations.

Informed she was trespassing by the "Ranger" fellas, Lah cuts to her interview with Maricopa County Board of Supervisors Chair, Jack Sellers, who's a Republican, for the record.

"Everything they're doing is just so unprofessional, that it's really bothersome," he tells her. "I don't really feel that it benefits me to get into the weeds too far, all the craziness that I see going on." Sellers and the Board of Supervisors conducted their own bipartisan audit of the County's election, twice, finding no evidence of widespread election fraud either time.

It took days for media to gain even limited access to the fake audit site. When they did, they saw workers scanning ballots with a weird UV light — something they've never seen done before. Ninja magic? Surely the people leading the audit would be able to tell us!

REPORTER: What are the UV lights for?

KEN BENNETT: The UV lights are looking at the paper, and it's part of several teams that are involved in the paper evaluation.

REPORTER: For what? For what purpose?

BENNETT: I personally don't know.

Is it part of the Jewish Space Laser project?

"It's really a fishing expedition for stuff that we know doesn't exist," said Arizona Secretary of State Katie Hobbs. "They cried and cried for an {air quotes} audit for months, and they've finally gotten it, and they're going to try to use this and try to get it other places, too."

Lah ends, as a good reporter would not miss the chance, by saying, "At least this carnival? The Crazy Times carnival? ENDS in ten days."

While Lah never manages to make it into the site, reporter Ryan Randazzo does. His access doesn't last long, though, because he had the nerve to actually report what he saw, so they threw him out, too.

What did he see? Not so much what, as WHOM.

Oh, my! If it isn't AZ Rep. Andy Biggs! Yes, THAT Andy Biggs. The one who's alleged to have helped organizers of the insurrection! The COVID-denying, Proud-Boys-adjacent Andy f*cking Biggs. Oh, this just instills the strongest of confidence in the validity of the vote count happening, does it not?

Did they give you a water, Ryan? The way actual police in Wisconsin did for White supremacist boy wonder Kyle Rittenhouse after he murdered 2 protesters? No?

Huh. Imagine the GOP lying about agreements and court orders and such.

Oh, well, hope Ryan's A/C works in his car. Or maybe he can go hang with Kyung Lah at the more fun, less democracy-destroying carnival one lot over.

UPDATE: Ex-rep Kern, one of the "helpers," also "helped" with the January 6th insurrection.

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