At a press conference to update citizens on new measures taken to combat COVID-19, Trump focused on how great he is for the markets, adding the requisite (for him) misogyny at the end.
March 14, 2020

Let's parse this little section of Trump's Saturday press conference, shall we? In the span of three-and-a-half minutes, the man who would be king came before the press corps wearing a navy blue campaign hat, and before talking about measures he was taking to address the growing COVID-19 pandemic, he:

BRAGGED ABOUT THE STOCK MARKET

I was honored to see the stock market, you were mostly there with us, set a record in a short period of time, over a 45-minute period that we had the press conference yesterday in the Rose Garden. That was a record. I think we should do one of them every day, perhaps. How about five times a day? We'll do one five times a day.

Isn't it a shame that cameras weren't on the faces of the reporters in the room? FIVE pressers a day? There're already long lines at the liquor store, is he trying to create a stampede?

THREW IN A "SIR" STORY

And that was something to watch, and I had no idea, we went back, I said, "So, how did that work out?" They said, "Sir, you just set a new record in the history of the stock market." So that was pretty good. Those great companies that were there, they couldn't have been too unhappy, either, if you think about it, because they're all big, publicly-listed companies, so, they did a good job....These are the biggest and the best, and they're opening up their facilities and they're opening up, they're right now literally working right now on doing something that's never been done before to the extent that we're doing it. So we're very proud of them.

It's not a Trump presser without a "Sir" story, which we know automatically are lies thanks to Daniel Dale's great analysis. It's also not a Trump presser if he's not openly admitting that the only thing that matters to him is the stock market, and that the only motivation behind any of his actions is to profit financially. Throw in a fully unsubstantiated claim that what he's doing has *never been done before* and you have the hat trick, my friends.

LIED ABOUT THE ECONOMY, SAID GIBBERISH

Our country's in the best financial shape -- so different than in the past, over the years if you look at some of the real big crises we had, it was financial problems and different things, we now are in very, very strong financial shape with all of the trade and all of the other things that we've been doing. It's been pretty amazing....It's important, but in the meantime we're doing things that -- that have been really well received. I guess you say saw that yesterday at the end of the day with what we've done.

Well, I guess if you think having lost virtually all of the past 3 years' financial gains in the space of a week "the best financial shape" you could say that. I guess if you think the market's circuit breakers tripping three times in a week is being in "very, very strong financial shape," you could say that. That's not to say we won't get through it — we likely will. But the level of delusion Trump adopts, and, by extension, expects the rest of us to adopt is pretty astonishing.

Finally, it wouldn't be a Trump presser without a near criminal-level of misogyny, displayed yesterday towards Kristen Welker and Yamiche Alcindor. Today, the lucky winner was Kelly O'Donnell, who asked him about the example he was setting by continuing to shake everyone's hand. Witness this and be floored.

Isn't that just the picture of what you'd imagine him saying to a woman after he grabbed them by the p*ssy? "Just take it nice and easy. Relax."

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