I hope you've all done your stretches, because you're gonna need it for the mental gymnastics required to follow this guy's logic. Erin Burnett's face is positively meme-worthy in more than one place, but I'll leave that to the techno-smarties.
Trump's former attorney, Jay Goldberg appeared on CNN yesterday with some analysis and predictions about Michael Cohen. Trump called him on April 13, after Cohen's office was raided, for advice. Like every good attorney-client relationship, the attorney went on national TV to talk about their private conversation. Noooorrrrmmmaaalllll.
Goldberg went to lengths to make a distinction between a witness "flip", and what he predicted Cohen would do. He explained FLIPPING is when a witness tells the TRUTH about another target of an investigation in order to get leniency for his own crimes. The TRUTH about another target.
GOLDBERG: He asked me about a number of lawyers and what I thought the lawyer best suited for him would be. And I didn't accept the notion of flip. Flip means to me that when faced with the potential of spending time in jail, he will tell the truth. I don't think that's what the President was concerned about and that's not what I'm concerned about.
I'm concerned about a person whose facing a lengthy prison term is likely to say those things which in the witness' mind would best position himself for a 5K1 letter which would enable the government to recommend that he'd be shown leniency. That doesn't necessarily mean that he tells the truth.
Flipping is an expression that we use when a witness is of a mind to tell the truth. But history has shown that people under the threat of heavy litigation glean what the prosecutor is interested in hearing, and they can form their conduct so that they can get what's known as the 5K1 letter. That's what I'm worried about.
BURNETT: So you're saying he will turn on the President. That he'll say what they want -- basically, he will indict the President, but it wouldn't necessarily be by telling the truth.
GOLDBERG: That's right.
Goldberg predicts what Cohen will do is to say what he thinks the prosecutor wants to HEAR to get leniency. So Cohen will still say incriminating things about Trump to get leniency, but those things will be LIES. Because Trump is INNOCENT of wrongdoing.
Got it?
Burnett asked him why Cohen would do this- is it because of his weak character? Here's the best part. When Goldberg becomes Jeff Sessions, Jerry Falwell and the Wicked Witch of the West all rolled up into one.
"I think in many ways, and it's difficult to say this, prison has a racial overtone. And the person like Michael doesn't see himself walking down Broadway while people are clamoring, 'You're going to be my wife.' And so he is under pressure from his family to try to figure out what it would take to bring the government aboard as his sponsor."
Sooooooo.....let's see. Michael Cohen will MAKE UP bad things about Trump (because Trump has not done bad things) to tell the prosecutor so that Michael Cohen, who HAS done bad things, and deserves to go to prison, will NOT go to prison because he is "not suited to stand up to the rigors of jail life," according to Goldberg, which include becoming sexually dominated by the male inmates who, of course, are all black and hispanic.
"Waiter! I'll take my creepy old quiet calm white man's legal analysis with a side of racism and homophobia, please!"
This may be the creepiest weirdo interview moment ever. And THAT is saying something in this bizarro world.
