Milwaukee County is facing a crisis!
I'm not referring to the racial unrest after another police shooting. I'm not talking about the fiscal crisis caused by Milwaukee County Emperor Executive Chris Abele giving away hundreds of millions of dollars in county assets to billionaires like the owners of the Milwaukee Bucks.
Oh no, the problem that Milwaukee County faces is much bigger than that.
The crisis is that people - members of the public - are using the public parks to socialize and recreate by playing Pokemon Go! The horror of it all!
Milwaukee County's parks director has sent a letter to the company behind the gaming sensation "Pokemon Go," asking it to comply with a county ordinance that requires a permit for game play in the public spaces, WISN 12 NEWS has learned.
So far there's been no reply, parks director John Dargle said, adding that he's only asking the CEO of Niantic to do what any organization must do when it organizes an event on park land.
"We're asking them to submit a permit so that we understand who is the contact (and) how we can get a hold of them if this should get out of hand," Dargle said.
Until that permit is obtained, Niantic "must deactivate and removal all Pokemon GO sites, including Poke stops and Gyms within Milwaukee County parks," the letter said.
Here is a copy of the pay up or get out letter.
Dargle goes on to say that it has caused a number of complaints about congestion, litter and people in the park after hours.
But Dargle's boss, the plutocratic Chris Abele, accidentally tells the real reason for this turf war (emphasis mine):
"Everybody likes fun recreation. The parks are there to be used by the public, but when it starts interfering with other people's ability to enjoy their own park, when there's more trash, you know, we have to get serious about it," Milwaukee County Executive Chris Abele said.
Additionally, entrepreneurs like artist Anandah Bohl have seized upon the opportunity presented by the game by selling fan art to the throngs in Lake Park. Niantic makes money through in-app purchases.
"Parks wants a cut of that revenue so we can help catch up on deferred maintenance," Abele said, adding that it's illegal to operate a business without a permit.
In other words, because Abele has been lavishing gifts to his fellow wealthy elites, he has no money left to take care of his real duties, like fixing the long-neglected parks.
So far, Niantic has not responded to the county's ridiculousness. Don't hold your breath that they ever will. Not only because it is so absurd that it doesn't deserve an answer but because Abele doesn't have a leg to stand on.
Just a month ago, Abele invited the community to all of the parks to participate in a "PokeNic," a Pokemon Go based event. He even gave the people all of the hot spots in the parks where the Pokemon are most commonly found.
The Pikachu Crisis is so huge that they have even scheduled a town hall meeting on September 2.
Please pray for us and that we might survive this calamity - Chris Abele that is, not the Pokemon thing.