I've read Kurt Schlicter's column, titled "Sexy Conservatives Will Out-Breed Barren Liberals" twice now and really can't figure out if he's serious in a snarky way or snarking and it's falling flat.

I think possibly it's the former, but the imagery of "Sexy Conservatives" outbreeding liberals is really almost too much for brain bleach to erase.

Maybe they think that by filling up their kids’ lives with “enrichment” activities and piles of expensive stuff they can fill up their own empty lives. Who needs things like God, country and honor anyway? “Those are for those knuckledragging Red State losers! Wait, I’m feeling down – better give the kid to the nanny and take another Adderall with a glass of chardonnay!”

Chelsea Clinton is the archetype, the living result of a transactional marriage between two leftists, lavished with attention and constant reinforcement, a spoiled non-entity who ends up bedecked in Bulgari jewels and a Derek Lam blouse on a magazine cover opining upon life as if she had earned that right by achieving anything on her own. Confusing luck with accomplishments – like mother like daughter.

Any excuse to bash the Clintons, of course. It's de rigueur these days.

Conservative families, in contrast, have children not for themselves, but for the future. We’re optimists, not pessimists who think all of this is meaningless and see a kid as a way to ease their existential pain. The nurseries at the liberal mainline churches are as barren as liberal womens’ wombs; those at evangelical churches, where they take this whole “God thing” seriously, are bursting at the seams.

Of course, the liberals’ answer is to fight the numbers with amnesty, importing what they hope will be fertile new recruits for their grim ideology in from the Third World. But the problem is that once here, those immigrants who share liberal values eventually stop having babies too. It seems abortion and reproduction don’t mix. The black community has already suffered depredations from the abortion laws Democrats love, a Democrat crime that dwarfs the crime that was Jim Crow. Now immigrant women seem to be taking a cue from liberal women and doing the same. In the meantime, red states like Utah and Texas grow and grow while blue states California and New York gray and shrivel.

So is he arguing for forced birth here, against immigration, or just wagging his dick around like any of us care?

This liberal mother of three would chew him out if he were one of mine. Or disown him.

This just cannot be serious. Can it?