Republicans Propose Dress Code For Obama Daughters
March 11, 2015

UPDATE: Okay, this is a spoof site -- washingtonpost.com.co. My apologies!

It's kind of scary that I thought this was a real story. Because Republicans are the kind of people who would do something this crazy:

If Republicans in the House of Representatives have it their way, First Daughters Sasha and Malia Obama might soon become the first presidential children to ever be forced into following a dress code, which would apply to how they present themselves in public for the duration of President Barack Obama’s stay at the White House.

The bill, titled “The Respectable First Family Act,” would force a strict dress code on all Presidential and Vice Presidential children under the age of eighteen, for the full time their father or mother holds the office. Republicans claim they want to begin enforcing the new dress codes this year, and were hastened after a recent controversy where some criticized the First Daughters for how they dressed during the Selma rally this past weekend.

“I shouldn’t need to justify why this bill is necessary to anyone, not after seeing what they were dressed like,” says the bill’s author, Congressman Richard Head (R-UT). “Did you see the photos from the march? The First Daughters looked like pole dancers. You could clearly see their knees and even an inch or two of their thighs. And one of them was wearing go-go dancer boots. Is this the sort of message we want to send to the rest of the world? Is this how we want the First Family to represent America and our values? I think not.”

Rep. Head’s bill would enforce a strict dress code policy upon the White House’s children, specifically daughters, with rules that would prohibit the First Daughters, and presumably future children as well, from displaying parts of the body that Head finds offensive.

“No dress or skirt shall expose any portion of the leg or waist more than one (1) inch above the ankle,” the bill states,” nor shall a girl’s feet be exposed fully outside of socks and/ or toed shoes.” The bill also claims that “shirt or blouse sleeves must be present, and may not be shorter than one (1) inch from the wrist, while no other part of the torso below the neck be exposed.” Head’s dress code would also prohibit makeup and jewelry not pre-authorized by Congress.

Meanwhile, boys were all but entirely overlooked by the bill, with the dress code merely stating that boys “look presentable, professional, and mature” at all times. No boundaries or lengths of clothing are defined for male First Children.

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