Shall we gather round Chuck Todd and sprinkle holy water around him to prevent the zombies from eating his face off? Because he really needs an intervention, or exorcism -- or both.

We are now witnessing an all-out press war on the President of the United States. And that means zombie lies return, courtesy of MSNBC's Chuck Todd. Comcast has done their job well.

First zombie lie: the leftover Bush budget bill "loaded with pork."

Todd, leaning in conspiratorially, dishes over the Omnibus spending bill left over by the Bush administration. "Everybody got a piece of pork, everybody got something." But alas, that bill did not reflect the New Era of Obama Jesus. Never mind that the bill had dramatic increases for SNAP and heating assistance for poor people. Never mind that, because Obama didn't stomp down the halls and throw it back in a veto-proof majority's face. That's right. It was passed by a veto-proof majority. So much for game analysis.

So that spending bill was introduced and passed while they were debating the stimulus bill, and while the economy was slowly sinking into the sunset like a stone tied to granite. Still, Chuck is disappointed, lamenting about how he signed the bill and then "lectured Washington." Where have we heard those words before? Oh, that's right: Fox News.

Todd's verdict: "This was a moment for him to draw a line in the sand and say This is Barack Obama's Washington."

I'm certain that would have ended well. For the record, that omnibus spending bill was the first and last spending bill to pass with bipartisan support in Obama's first term. Democrats did the rest by themselves or gave into Republicans' tantrums.

Also? Hindsight is 20-20, Chuckles. Let's see how Chuck reported on that spending bill...

Odd. The Google is failing me. I can't seem to find a record of what Chuck might have said about it. I did, however, find a Media Matters report about how Chuck reported the stimulus (critically) without any mention of the response from Democrats. And as we now know with our perfect hindsight, that stimulus bill, as imperfect as it was, saved the country from economic ruin.

After some Saint Ronnie love from both of them, they move on.

Next zombie lie: Schmooze harder, Mr. President!

"Yes, maybe Republicans were plotting against him," Chuck chuckles sarcastically.

No Chuck. This is not a maybe. This is a fact. Did you miss FactCheck 101?

And it continues..."But there were Republicans he could have picked off. Remember the Reagan model was not to work with leadership. The Reagan model was to grab five or six guys on the edge."

I have two names for Chuck. Susan Collins and Olympia Snowe. I didn't even have to Google that. I just had to remember.

I won't bore you with all of the times President Obama invited Republicans to the White House, to cocktail parties, even to a viewing of Lincoln and they either declined or it made no difference. But that whole schmooze thing? It started eight days after he was inaugurated.

This whole interview is a whiny ass titty baby mewl that reflects Chuck Todd's ability to ignore any form of nuance and just boil things down to Villager Pablum. A spending bill with "pork" that includes help for poor people shows a lack of leadership? If only he had schmoozed harder like Reagan did? If he had called in Nancy Pelosi to get the lay of the land?

Does anyone remember where Barack Obama was before he was elected President? The Senate, you knuckleheads! Don't you think he had some clue about how things were working?

He could schmooze all day long and get nowhere, because in Reagan's day, Democrats didn't resolve to block everything Reagan tried to get done.

I will also add that Reagan did not take office during one of the worst financial meltdowns in American history, and his "deals" resulted in a deficit so high he was actually forced to go back and raise taxes to stabilize the debt.