We all know Mitt Romney is running for the 2016 nomination. The only one who doesn't is Mitt, I suppose. Except this time he's not going to act like he wants to. Those damned Republicans are going to have to beg and beg and beg before he tosses his hat in the ring.
Mittens is making the rounds of right-wing radio and television shows to let everyone know he's totally NOT running. Except maybe he'll consider it. If they beg hard enough.
Mittens appeared on Hugh Hewitt's radio show Tuesday to tell everyone he's still not running, ok, maybe he might, if some mysterious circumstance changes. Like God coming down from the heavens with mighty tablets telling him he should not ever consider another run for the presidency.
He also spent a few minutes outlining his 2016 strategy, disguised as "things we did wrong in 2012."
HH: Now I know, Governor, that you have told everyone who’s asked that it’s very unlikely you would make a third run for the presidency. But if those unusual circumstances were to come about where you did, what would you do differently this time around?
MR: (laughing) Well, I’m not going to be running, but I can give a lot of advice to the many folks that are going to be running. And you know, there are a number of things I’d tell them. First, I think we have to work very early on, on Hispanic media, to make sure that our message is heard loud and clear by Hispanic voters. I think we underinvested in Spanish media, and I don’t think we monitored what the Obama people were saying and countered it. There were a lot of things they said which were, you know, in the nature of politics, things I wouldn’t think were fair. But you know, that’s how politics works, but we should have answered those things, shut them down, told people what we believed, and I think we would have done better with Hispanic voters. I think we have to do that particularly in states like Texas and Florida as well as Nevada and Arizona where Hispanic voters make up a large share of the voting population.
Let's take just a minute and review that "message" he wants heard loud and clear.
Would the message he's looking to make sure they get out be "Diseased children from Central America, go home and die?"
Marco Rubio's latest "message" is full of Republican awesome, too. Flip-flopping yet again because he's terrified of what will happen if the President unleashes an executive order halting deportations on immigrants who are here but haven't broken any laws -- DACA on steroids -- Rubio is begging Republicans to pass immigration reform after he voted against his own bill!
Out of the other side of his mouth, Rubio is threatening another government shutdown over a possible executive order. Man, that guy is sweating bullets, isn't he?
Another government shutdown a month before midterms would be just awesome. Please proceed, Senator.
Back to Mittens. When asked a question framed in such a way that the only thing standing between Mitt and a 2016 reprise would be an unparted Red Sea, he coyly offered the possibility that yeah, he might just be the only guy who could beat Hillary Clinton.
HH: Now I’m pressing, and I’m pressing an advantage of long acquaintance, and so forgive me for this, but that’s subject to change, right? People’s candidacies implode, circumstances change. People who organized campaigns approach you. And so I’m not asking you to, I wouldn’t presume to ask you to say yeah, I’m in the race. But circumstances change. And if you thought that in fact it were not that way, that you thought you were the only one who could do this, you’d change your mind, wouldn’t you?
MR: (laughing) I’m not going there, Hugh. I know you’re going to press, but you know, this is something we gave a lot of thought to when early on I decided we’re not going to be running this time. And again, we said look, I had the chance of running. I didn’t win. Someone else has a better chance than I do. And that’s what we believe, and that’s why I’m not running. And you know, circumstances can change, but I’m just not going to let my head go there. I remember that great line from Dumb and Dumber, where the…
HH: So you’re telling me I have a chance?
MR: There you go, you remember. You’re telling me I have a chance? That’s one of a million.
Oh, but you know how that goes. All it takes is a poll saying Mitt is overwhelmingly the winner in Iowa to get him looking at the odds. As it turns out, we have one of those.
Has anyone studied the "grass is greener" effect? It's easy to be Mitt Romney when you're standing outside looking in. It's a helluva lot harder when you're on the inside juggling ISIS, a completely useless Congress, natural disasters, and civil unrest. I can only imagine how a President Romney would handle Ferguson issues.
But please. Please proceed, Governor.
[Photo Credit: Donkey Hotey]
